The adventure continues
First: congrats to Alan on his first day at Facebook! Cry your heart out, Duchess of Cambridge—I already have my prince. =)
I was awake from 3-8 a.m., perhaps due to anxiety, or the side effects of the steroid shot I received yesterday, or a combination. I should have just gotten up to watch the royal wedding with the night nurses (as Christine Sullivan would have [Markie Post from Night Court]).
Yes, it’s back in the hospital, as they are monitoring growth restriction for Baby C (or, as we call him, the Little Dude). A month ago Babies A and C were in the 30s percentile-wise, and Baby B was in the 70th percentile. Yesterday, our measurements came back with Baby B in the 50th percentile, weighing 3 lbs, 3 oz; Baby A in the 6th percentile at 2 lbs, 9 oz, and Baby C in the 2nd percentile at 2 lbs, 7 oz. These percentiles are for singleton growth rates, so it certainly stands to reason that our triplets will be at the low end of the scale, but 2nd percentile was cause for concern.
After yesterday’s failed monitoring attempts that lasted 3+ hours and then a wait for another ultrasound (meaning I couldn’t eat for 5 hours on doctor’s orders), and the nurses inserting an IV port just in case I needed an emergency c-section if one of the babies declined suddenly, I had the full and scary realization that these babies might enter the world well before they are biologically meant to. No matter how great the NICU care, the earlier babies arrive, the more likely they are to have long-term health complications.
Of course I always knew that was a possibility, but it was a remote possibility. My goal of 35 weeks seems slimmer than ever. The nurse last night said if I could make it to 32 or 33, that would be doing really well. I think this is the first time in my life that I have been striving to be average.
In my sleep-deprived state, I tried not to feel guilty about this. Not only are we not prepared with names, but the nursery is far from furnished, and we have many other essentials to acquire and organize. Somehow both Alan and I thought we had more time than the 5 days between when I finished grading/working and when I first was admitted to the hospital and then put on home bedrest.
Also, while in the hospital the first time around, my sinus infection significantly impaired my appetite, which came back a bit while home but apparently weight loss is a symptom of bedrest (not exerting as much energy = fewer needed calories). I worried that those 2 weeks of my actually losing a few pounds contributed to the triplets not gaining enough weight which may potentially be the reason for them coming out far earlier than expected.
Of course they have not declined at all, except for the slower growth: they are still moving well, still have strong heartbeats, all other measurements show them as being healthy. They measured 8 out of 8 on the BPP (biophysical profile ultrasound)—A+ already! I can tell that their spirits are strong—they each have their own personality, as small as they are.
After an almost 2-hour nap this morning after Alan left for Facebook, and the news from my doctor that I can be released tonight if all goes well with the BPP this morning, I feel much more optimistic. There is so much beyond my control, and even the things within my control are only present in the moment.
I’m working on prayer, focused meditation (which, as a beginner, I’m not very good at, but I’m giving it a try), and visualization to help me stay calm, so they can also stay calm. And honestly, the universe somehow wanted us to have these three babies—I will never forget the doctor’s surprise at the first ultrasound! So they will arrive at whatever size and weight, and, as Mary Jane Mulholland wrote in my graduation card from high school:
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”