Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Less than 24 hours. Whew. As Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”
Today I have had 2 IV medications, 2 blood draws, 1 ultrasound, talked with 2 doctors, and there is a 50-50 chance I will have to be put under general anaesthesia for the c-section tomorrow morning. At this point I feel like I could rival Barry Bonds with all the steroids I’ve been given in the past two months to both hasten respiratory growth in the babies and stimulate my platelet count so clotting during a spinal block would not be an issue. As much as I was disappointed to hear that my platelets were not responding to the steroids as they were supposed to, I have now accepted whatever will be will be–even if I am not awake for the actual birth, I will get to see these babies as soon as I wake up and am in recovery, and then there will be the rest of their lives for me to witness (whether they like it or not =)).
I asked my friend Liz if the sense of imminent panic is normal for first-time parents, and she said absolutely. There is this weird mingling of abundant joy and overwhelming cluelessness, and Alan and I for the most part are focusing on the joy and remaining blissfully in denial about the upcoming challenge. (Though Alan has, in his words, been “panic-nesting” this weekend, and I think our house is fabulously clean!)
And more blessings: yesterday my dad’s cousin Kathy, who happens to live in Seattle, came to visit, and we reconnected over old family photos and stories about my great-grandmother (her grandmother), whom we both adored.
And finally I just need to say that I am so grateful to the Powers That Be for this pregnancy to have gone so well–I have experienced very little pain or complications that all the books warn about, and that has nothing to do with any influence of mine. All of your prayers from Texas to California to France to New England have unbelievable force, and we thank you for that!
Next post: photos of the babies! (Any last minute guesses for the names? We picked ’em, but we’re not telling.)