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On writing and vulnerability

March 31, 2014

A few weeks ago, I took a deep breath and dove into the writing void.

A writing competition.  Hosted by a writer and parent and person whom I have never met but admire greatly.

(Note:  I don’t dive.  Ever.  Ask my mom, who tried bribing me with all manner of things to get me to pass the last swim class skill, going off the diving board headfirst.  I could not get past my fear.)

And then I got an e-mail that said I won honorable mention.

Reaction, not necessarily in this order:

  1. Thrilled and honored.  (Oh my God!  Other people might read my blog!)
  2. Panic.  (Holy crap!  People might read my blog!)

Brene Brown (also one of my new favorite people) talks about having a “vulnerability hangover.”  I have one.  It’s from a weird cocktail of adrenaline-induced excitement and terror.  (Because I come by this sensation naturally, I have never felt the need to go on roller coasters.)

Anyway.  I dove, and went under for about 24 hours of panic that Beth and the judges would think I was a total sham and a poser and all manner of other things.  Then I surfaced.

And it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

So here’s to diving into the void.  To uncertainty.  To vulnerability.

Come to the edge.

We might fall.

Come to the edge.

It’s too high!


And they came,

And he pushed,

And they flew.

–Christopher Logue


7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2014 6:09 pm

    I read what you wrote there and wanted to read more! You’re right, people might read your blog now. 🙂

  2. April 1, 2014 1:49 pm

    Congratulations (and breathe)!

  3. March 31, 2014 10:34 am

    As one of the “top 15” I can totally relate. I wrote my piece just to throw it out there, it was cathartic and made so much sense to me… until I found out that I made the top 15 and she would put my link on HER page. That others would read it. What did I do? And WHAT was I thinking? In the end, I’m glad I did and I am sure you did too. Keep writing! 🙂

  4. Neal & BJ permalink
    March 31, 2014 10:27 am

    So proud of you and for you! Doesn’t surprise us one bit that you received this honor!

  5. March 31, 2014 10:06 am

    The version of that quote that I have always heard is on my Facebook profile. More proof that we are actually the same person. 😛


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