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It’s Not Me. It’s You.

March 30, 2016

It’s about routine, they said.

If you don’t have a routine, then kids won’t know what to expect, and they’ll act out.

It’s about quality time, they said.

If your kid is acting out, maybe it’s their way of asking for attention.

It’s about Talking So Kids Will Listen.  It’s about 1, 2, 3, Magic.  It’s about Emotionally Intelligent Children.

It’s about time parenting experts shut up.

It’s not us.  It’s the kids.

It’s two nights in a row of one kid throwing a screaming tantrum, throwing toys and running around–and last night, biting my husband on the shoulder–because it’s a rule in our house that you can’t eat dinner naked.

It’s fights with us at bedtime:  No, you can’t have more water because I have to wash your sheets several times a week as it is.  No, I already gave you plenty of hugs.  Your question can wait till tomorrow.  No, you don’t need a band-aid.

It’s about kids pulling the I don’t want to, I don’t have to, you can’t make me resistance to perfectly Normal and Routine requests that escalates said requests into crying and consequences.

[Incidentally, I bet my parents are rolling on the floor right now.]

We are doing everything we’re supposed to.  We have routines.  We have expectations (like, wash your hands before you eat).  We get push-back all the damn time.

And oh, of course, they are adorable–like all three holding hands with their friend Ella as they walked to Children’s Liturgy yesterday.  Of course they are hilarious–giving themselves and each other the giggles.  Of course they are super sweet–like Theresa, without being asked, giving Audrey her balloon on Saturday after Audrey’s popped.

And of course they are boundary-pushing, sometimes overtired, sometimes hangry, jealous, shoving, biting, toy-throwing little…people.

I started this post two weeks ago.  Then the brilliant Janelle posted this on Renegade Mothering the other day.  Spot on, sister.  With more cussing but more wit.

And there you have it.


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